“Where did you go?”, “Are you awake?”, “We need to talk” and other ways are guaranteed to piss off a person in correspondence.
one.
Start a conversation with this message. First you need to find out if your interlocutor is here. Don’t trust the green light. Ignore the negative answer and immediately go to point 2. In the case of a positive answer, also go to the second point.
2.
After that, be silent, wait for a return greeting. The main thing – do not rush to get down to business. The interlocutor has plenty of time, which he will gladly spend on the greeting ceremony.
3.
Send after hi. In no case don’t go directly to the point. First, show that the affairs of the interlocutor are of great concern to you.
four.
Send after the interlocutor has told you about his problems and experiences. Avoid verbosity here. It can be even shorter: “clear.”
5.
Be sure to check before asking. Suddenly the interlocutor can not ask questions.
6.
Send this after the interlocutor allows you to ask a question. If it does not allow, then all the more start expressing your request with this phrase. Send it, of course, you need a separate message.
7.
It will be needed when, after your messages, the interlocutor stops responding to you. Type in caps so that the other person can hear you clearly. You can even go like this: “AUUUUUU!!!!”
eight.
Can be used in two cases:
- after the interlocutor answered your “AU”;
- instead of hello, if you haven’t corresponded for a long time.
9.
This is after a request. And when you ask for something, also save letters – do not write “please”, write “plz”.
ten.
This is if the interlocutor wrote a detailed message and you want to show your participation and sympathy.
eleven.
Send to keep up an interesting conversation if the person does not answer you or wrote you a detailed message and you want to clarify the details.
12.
For very funny jokes, when you need the interlocutor to understand that the joke is really very funny.
13.
Use instead of hello if you don’t have a watch, your smartphone doesn’t show the time, you just woke up and don’t know what time of day it is outside.
fourteen.
It is best to send at night when the interlocutor is offline: what if he did not turn off the sound and will hear your question even through a dream. But you can send such a message during the day: you never know, a person has a quiet hour.
fifteen.
Send immediately after sending an email. You can still call after the person if the person did not answer your message within two minutes.
16.
And immediately give a link, preferably to some malicious site. To increase efficiency, first create a group chat, and only then throw a link there and a request to vote.
17.
The message you are asking to be forwarded must contain:
- threats (“If you don’t send it, the last unicorn will die on earth”);
- promises (“If you send it, everyone will be happy”);
- bribe;
- blackmail.
eighteen.
Before that, write something like “I’m going on a date,” and then – “Oh, not for you.” To whom to send – you yourself know, it’s not for me to teach you.
19. After this state, the foremost critical thing is to be quiet. Hold the outstanding halt for as long as conceivable.Until you hear the doorbell – most likely, it was your interlocutor who arrived without waiting for an answer from you.
twenty.
When all other arguments have been exhausted, get “oh, that’s it” – the most deadly and effective. Use as a last resort.
21.
A win-win option if you are on a treadmill, out of breath, and music is blaring around. If you are not heard, they can always overhear. And thanks to voice messages, your friends will never know that you write with spelling mistakes.
These messages will become more effective if you send them to strangers: find a stranger, write, for example, “We need to talk,” be silent, wait, enjoy.
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